AMMA'S ECSTATIC COMMUNION WITH THE DIVINE

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When Amma was younger in her teens, twenties and thirties, she would lapse into blissful ecstasy reveling in her inner communion with God. This occured on an almost daily basis. It was common for her to lose outer consciousness.

Amma recounts her struggle to remain conscious in the world after being asked about her divine moods:

Amma: (Abstractedly) "Oh...I don't know. They just come like that. (After a short pause) Do you know how much I am struggling to stay here in this world in the midst of all of you? It is really very difficult. But when Mother remembers the sorrows and sufferings of the people, Her mind melts and becomes compassionate. That is what keeps Her mind down here."  As told by Swami Amritaswarupananda, Awaken Children, vol. 2, Amma often talks about herself in the third person.

Below is a description of one such event.

The Bliss-Intoxicated Divine Mood

At six-thirty in the evening the residents began the singing of bhajans. After a few songs, Brahmacharin Balu started singing Saranagati (O Mother, Give Refuge). By the time the Holy Mother came to join in, the same song was still being sung since it was a long bhajan. She took over the lead singing.

O Light that illumines the whole Universe
And even the sun, moon and the stars;
O Primordial Nature,
Governess of the entire Universe,
O Universal Mother, who is the Incarnation
Of pure and selfless Love,
This destitute cries for Thy vision
With a heart endowed with intense yearning.

The Mother was unusually enraptured with the bliss of Divine Love. She swayed vigorously from side to side, back and forth. An inexpressible and indescribably beautiful blending of the diverse aspects of supreme devotion and love slowly manifested in the Mother. It enveloped each and every person present. Through the Divine voice of the Holy Mother the song attained wings. It soared up and flowed like a never-ending stream as the song continued,

O Mother, the ocean sings Thy Glory
Through the resounding of the Sacred Syllable,
Aum...one after the other,
Each and every wave dances gleefully
In time with the Pranava, the Primordial Sound,
Aum...

With a voice full of feeling and a heart full of longing, the Mother called out, "Amme...Amme..." Her eyes were fixed on the sky above and her hands were out-stretched. The Mother's call was so full of love and authenticity that it gave the feeling to everyone that the Divine Mother Herself was standing in front of the Holy Mother. The Mother sang out,
O Mother Divine, Thou art beyond
The scriptural verses of Purushasuktha
(Scriptural text which glorifies the
Universal Being).
O Mother, Thou art beyond the Brahmasutra
(Scriptural text which describes the
Absolute Brahman).
O Mother, even transcending all the four Vedas,
O Mother, Thou alone knowest Thee indeed.

At this point the Mother started laughing, an external expression of her inner bliss. This mysterious laughter persisted as the brahmacharins continued singing. The Mother clapped her hands like a little child and immediately raised both hands above her head. Now the laughter stopped, but her hands remained in the uplifted position for a while. The fingers of each hand displayed two different divine mudras. A beatific glow illumined her face. Bringing her hands down, the Mother again sang,

O Mother, seeking Thee, this child will cry,
Wandering along the shores of many seas;
O Mother, to each and every particle of sand
This child inquires about Thee.
O stars, glittering in the vast blue sky,
Did any one of you see my Mother
Passing through this way?

The Mother sang these lines repeatedly, over and over again. The shawl which covered her head had fallen down as Gayatri tried to place it back into position. Strands of her hair fell loose around her neck and gently swirled around as her head swayed with the rhythm of the music. Tears trickled down her cheeks. Raising her hands up, the Mother went on calling,  “Amma... Amma... Amma..." This went on until finally she burst into a flood of tears, but the next moment the Mother took a long, deep breath and became still. Her hands still manifested divine mudras. The brahmacharins went on singing,

O my Mother Bhairavi, there is no shore
Where I have not searched for Thee,
O Mother, my darling Mother,
Bliss-embodied One,
No time exists when I have not sought for Thee,
O my Beloved Mother, for aeons and aeons
Hast Thou hid from me,
This poor child of Thine.
O Compassionate One, why dost Thou delay
To shower Thy Grace upon this child?

In the light of the burning oil lamp everyone could see the radiant face of the Holy Mother. No sign of external consciousness was evident. Saturated with divinity, the atmosphere evoked spontaneous meditation in the minds of all who were present, devotees and residents alike. One could easily discern that they were all singing with their minds fully fixed on the object of their meditation. Some sang with their minds totally focused on their Beloved Deity, shedding tears of bliss, while others sat unmoving, deeply absorbed in profound meditation. Struggling to bring her mind down to the physical plane of consciousness, the Holy Mother once again sang,

O Mother,
On Thy fingertips revolve hundreds,
Nay, millions of universes;
How is it justified if Thou makest me,
This poor child, also revolve
On the same fingertips of Thine?

Again the Mother was transported to her own world of infinite bliss. She lost her control to stay in this physical plane and stood up. As she walked towards the coconut grove in her ecstatic rapture, she allowed herself to drown completely in the ocean of love and supreme devotion. Such was her God-intoxicated state. Spell-bound, the brahmacharins and devotees continued to glorify the Divine Mother as they sang,

O Mother, come to me,
Stand in front of me today;
I wish to inundate Thy Holy Feet with my tears.
O Mother, the sound that rings in my heart,
The emergent tune from my heart
Is the call of loving devotion unto Thee.
O Mother, other than that,
I need nothing...

The bhajan ended with these lines. Enjoying the experience of bliss and the fervor of pure devotion and love, everyone sat immersed in meditation. Total silence prevailed, the silence of inner peace. This hallowed atmosphere hung suspended in a sacred stillness as the cool, gentle breeze floated the beckoning call of the ocean from the west.

After the arati, everyone's eyes and hearts reached out in search of the Holy Mother. Standing at a respectful distance, they all watched the Mother dancing in pure bliss. It felt as if the Mother was dancing all around the entire Ashram even though she was only encircling that one particular spot in the coconut grove. Completely lost to this external world in which we were standing, she reveled in her own mystical inundation of splendor. Swami Amirtaswarupananda, Awaken Children, vol. III, p. 261